Creationist Dictionary for Dummies

Excerpts from the definitive Creationist Dictionary for Dummies:

Apologetics: concocting fancy excuses for the reality that there is no evidence for any deities.

Belief: mental state that is equivalent to knowledge if 1. the Bible says it's TRUE, 2. enough fellow believers agree that it is true.

Cognitive Dissonance: an uncomfortable feeling that arises when creationists are faced with facts and logic; a feeling that elicits classic creationist coping strategies.

Coping Strategy (Creationism): see entries for crealogic, creation science, critical thinking, education, evidence, PROOF, theory, or invent your own.

Crealogical: see entry for Logic (Creationism)

Creation science: science fiction for those who literally swallow godidit myths

Critical thinking: negative thoughts about any unwelcome idea

Education: anything regurgiquoted from AiG or a similar website

Educational Qualifications (Creationism): anything that can be purchased online, or claimed to have been attained, without a requirement for learning (similar items can be purchased by online ministers).

Educational Qualifications (Science): something to be approached with derision or incredulity.

Evidence (Creationism): anything taken, or invented, to supports one's favourite belief.

Evidence (Science): something that must be denied, derided, or twisted to creationist purposes.

Faith: creationism must be RIGHT because lots of fools believe in it.

Falsification: 1. declaring ad nauseam that unwelcome facts are WRONG, 2. inventing misinformation for the sake of making an illogical argument against a scientist, evolutionist, or atheist, 3. Lie-orama.

Godidit (also Goddidit): of course He did!

Knowledge: any strongly held belief, regardless of intrinsic truth value.

Lie-Orama: expensive falsifications that depict dinosaurs cavorting with humans.

Logic: 1. quoting cherry-picked scriptures, 2. regurgiquoting misinformation, 3. resorting to fallacies of logic, particularly in emotional arguments.

Logical argument (Creationism): using creationist logic (aka crealogic) and making irrelevant, negative remarks about the holder of any unwelcome idea.

Logical argument (atheism, science): dangerous, faith-testing arguments from generally better-educated evolutionists, scientists, and atheists.

PROOF: declaration that CREATIONISM IS RIGHT and GOD EXISTS.

Refutation of creationism: something that must be ignored, or denied, at all costs.

Theory: the latest desperate creationist invention that is intended to deny reality.

© Creations for Literalists

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